Improvised Roundtables, Ep 46: Difficult Actors
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (12)
Roundtable Roll-Call: Hollywood's Most Difficult Actors
The panel introduces themselves: John Wickford, a veteran cowboy actor; Skye Leground, a method actor; Cody Grouploss, a director-actor who claims to be easy to work with; and Sion Marker, a legend who demands her age be deleted.
"My name is John Wickford... I guess I'm fucking difficult."
"I need to see you delete my age."
"I know every crew member's name so it's really funny that I'm here."
The Batman Method and Generational Divides
Skye Leground defends his method acting, including taking a shit on a car to channel Batman's vengeance. John Wickford and Sion Marker mock the modern 'pansy' sets filled with quinoa, yoga, and phone chargers.
"How would the Batman take a shit? He might do it on somebody's car to prove a point about vengeance."
"Set is full of quinoa... full of people talking about yoga."
The First Time Being Deemed 'Difficult'
John Wickford recalls a 'talking to' after taking upskirt photos on set. Cody Grouploss describes his 'collaborative' method of belittling a lead actress into nothingness over three hours.
"Didn't you take upskirt photos of that girl? Yeah, I took a liking to her."
"I kind of reduced her to nothing in the matter of three hours."
Vaping, Rats, and Beating Up PAs
The panel discusses their history of workplace violence. Skye reveals he sent boxes of rats with broken necks to co-hosts. John Wickford explains that his 'emotional' abuse of PAs stems from them not knowing he wants peach yogurt.
"I just got a bunch of rats and I broke their necks."
"I look at them in a way that makes them want to throw themselves off a bridge... because they should know what yogurt is. It's peach."
John Wickford's Slapping Spree and Glee Hatred
John Wickford defends his 'normal' behavior on set, which includes slapping PAs and Bratz movie cast members. He reveals a deep-seated hatred for the show Glee based on a commercial from 2008.
"Be fucking normal until they roll action."
"I saw a commercial for once around 2008 and it made my blood boil."
"Hat bigger than any of those pussy-ass fedora hats they have running around on Glee."
Cody's Celibacy and the 'Cum-splaining' Debate
Cody reveals his active celibacy is the root of his difficulty. Sion Marker accuses him of building up resentment, leading to a heated argument over 'cum-splaining'.
"I am a celibate actively."
"Do not cum-splain to me, okay?"
"Is this a fucking porn set? Answer me that."
The Coca-Cola Conspiracy and COVID Officers
Skye rants about Coca-Cola poisoning water and closing gyms. Cody counters with his love for COVID officers, whom he treats to donut trucks, while Skye admits he listens to 'The Daily' just to get angry.
"Coca-Cola is poisoning our water."
"I get them their own donut truck on the last day. Just the COVID people."
"I listen to it, I hear what they have to say, and then I get mad."
John Wickford's Rapid-Fire Moral Compass
The group attempts to categorize John's contradictory politics through a lightning round of topics including vaccines, gay marriage, and various countries.
"Vaccines? Yes. Organic food? No."
"Unisex bathrooms? No."
"Saudi Arabia? Pass."
Skye's Heroin Method and the Fake Plane Crash
Skye details his plan to start 'hardlining heroin' to prepare for an indie pilot role and his intention to fake a plane crash with his co-hosts to ensure they are sufficiently terrified of him.
"In two weeks I start hardlining heroin to get into the role."
"Convince another human being next to you that they're about to end their life... that's acting."
The Method Piss and Final Reflections
Skye admits to urinating on himself as part of his method acting. The roundtable concludes with everyone agreeing they are difficult, though Skye remains oblivious to his own flaws.
"Yes I peed, but that's all part of my method."
"I learned that I am so not difficult compared to you guys."
"You bought property inside your own ass."
"Even your therapist is up your anus."
Piss Shame and Kink Defense
Cody visibly wets himself during the argument, leading to a debate on whether 'piss shaming' is acceptable or if it qualifies as a kink.
"Don't piss shame me, this is a kink."
"A man pisses himself out of embarrassment and suddenly it's a kink?"
The Cow's Home Sitcom Reveal
John Wickford admits to being a 'stubborn old cow,' prompting Sion to reveal they starred together in a 9-season sitcom called 'The Cow's Home' where they were married.
"I'm coming around to the fact that I'm a stubborn old cow."
"We worked together on a sitcom, The Cow's Home."