Movies That Never Got Made
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
The Panel of Visionaries and Indie High Schools
The panel introduces themselves, including a development head for a pro-skater-turned-actor who claims his massive private high school was actually an 'indie' school because it wasn't state-funded.
"It was an indie high school cuz it wasn't funded by the state."
"I guess I only ever saw it spelled Lowi."
LG Washer Dryers Presents: A Choose Your Own Adventure Human Story
Tracy Ronald pitches an Oscar-contending film produced by LG's new human stories division, where the audience uses controllers to decide which settings a rock band's washing machine uses.
"I'm the heading the department of human stories at LG washerdryer."
"The protagonist, Washi the Washer, is going to wash the clothes."
Arcades in Landfills and the Billionaire of Fryman Canyon
Mr. Fryman (Ted Bundy) explains her sustainable business model of building arcades in landfills that connect to your phone via Bluetooth so you can wait in line from home.
"I'm building arcades in landfills."
The Secret Project: Dr. Spy and the Foot Cloner Scandal
Dr. Stratiocella tries to pitch his movie 'Dr. Spy' but is derailed when the panel recognizes him as the 'Topanga Canyon Foot Cloner' from a popular true crime podcast.
"The stethoscope is a shocker. It's like a taser."
"You're the doctor that got sued for trying to turn all of his clients feet into looking exactly like your receptionist feet."
The Thick Rick Partnership and Getty Arcade
Patrick pitches a partnership with Slim Jim's competitor, Thick Rick, and claims Guck did a kickflip over ChatGPT. Angela claims the Getty Museum agreed to fund an arcade in a landfill, leading to a debate about 'Spaghetti' wellness.
"Slim Jim's main competitor, Thick Rick."
"The Getty Museum agreed to an arcade in a landfill."
"Just ride the monorail to the end of Spaghetti."
Seeking Financiers and Situationships
Tracy Ronald explains her strategy of using 'Seeking Arrangements' to find creative financiers. Patrick reveals he is in a 'situationship' with a woman who says 'see you when I see you.'
"It should be more called Seeking Financier."
"I just got into a situationship."
"We have stopped going on dates, we are still kissing."
The Foot Cloning Malpractice Lawsuit
Dr. Stratiocella defends himself against a lawsuit alleging he used a clone machine to replace patients' feet with his assistant Gabriella's 'perfect 10 piggies.'
"The judge invented this case that I somehow change people's feet."
"Gabrielle's perfect soul and perfect Achilles tendon."
"I did not switch people's feet and build Gabriella's feet with a clone machine."
The Choose Your Own Adventure Washing Machine Movie
Tracy Ronald pitches 'Wash Me All Night Long,' a choose-your-own-adventure Oscar movie about a washing machine in the house of a friend of the band Kiss. She details a global TikTok campaign to create artificial demand.
"It's a choose your own adventure Oscar movie about a washing machine."
"We're paying influencers for a ponderance."
"The band is friends with Kiss, that's why it sings Kiss's songs but different."
The Panel of Liars Reveal
The panel unravels as Angela admits she is actually Ted Bundy, Patrick reveals Guck is Alvin the Chipmunk who is extorting him, and Dr. Stratiocella admits he really did clone the feet.
"I'm Schmed Bundy... rhymes with Ted Bundy."
"My friend's a fucking chipmunk."
"This is a panel of liars."
Liar Liar 2: Two True and a Liar
The group pitches a sequel to Liar Liar involving a man who lies every other day. The title devolves into a rhythmic chant of 'Liar Liar Two True' before pivoting to a choose-your-own-adventure format.
"What about a man who could only lie every other day?"
"Two true and a liar."
"If you lie twice, that's truth."
The Bundy Bucket and the Sick Rick
The pitch expands to include AMC popcorn tie-ins called 'Bundy Buckets' and a plot point involving a character named 'Sick Rick' who forces the truth out of the protagonist.
"We'll call it the Bundy Bucket."
"When he eats the sick Rick, he tells the truth."
The Great Pivot: From Movie to Musical to Bread
The group realizes their movie pitch has accidentally become a musical titled 'Foot Chipmunk Owl Killer,' which then further morphs into a marketing plan for 'Focaccia' bread.
"This whole time we've been coming up with a bread."
"Nothing is stopping you from leaving a room with three strangers with a bread."
The Final Reveal: It's a True Crime Podcast
Ted Bundy reveals the entire episode was a setup to murder the panel and sell the footage to Wondery as a true-crime podcast. The group ends by pivoting to a short film about depression.
"We're not artists. We're victims to a murderer."
"I'm selling it straight to Wondery."
"What about a short film about depression?"