MARVEL Movies Writers Room
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (12)
The Marvel Writers Assemble
The writers introduce the high-stakes world of Marvel scripting, where they 'scrape the bottom of the barrel with top-shelf stuff' and prepare for the mandatory post-credit scenes.
"Scrape all the way to the bottom of the barrel with the top-shelf stuff."
The No Idea Man: Marvel's Greatest Villain
The writers describe a shared hallucination/office legend called 'The No Idea Man' who appears when creativity fails, demanding personal trauma as a sacrifice to be turned into IP.
"The No Idea Man reared his ugly horned head."
"They legally own your indie feature now."
"Don't even talk about it in therapy because a representative from Disney will show up."
Dennis Faraday's Comedy Wheel
Dennis explains his role writing 'awkward comedy' and 'girl heroes.' He introduces the Faraday Wheel, a tool used to generate generic Marvel quips when he is busy painting Warhammer figurines.
"If there's ever stakes in the movie, I want to rip it up with a little joke."
"They call me Dennis 'A Little Help Here'."
"I also write girl heroes, specifically not women."
Riley Virgin: The Pitchfest Prodigy
Riley discusses her rise from AFI to Marvel after winning Pitchfest with a morose indie about fish. She shows off her collection of bootleg Marvel wrap gifts.
"Fish don't talk to each other."
"I make my own version on Printful because I've always wanted to be a part of the crew."
DeeDee Deadpool and Calamari Man
DeeDee reveals her nepotism roots and her task of finding obscure heroes, leading to the announcement of 'Calamari Man' starring Finn Wolfhard on Disney+.
"Calamari Man is real."
"His powers are to bring calamari as requested to different tables."
"Imagine The Bear meets She-Hulk meets Finn Wolfhard."
Xandy's Game House and the February 3rd Nerd Riot
Ralph Xandy reveals he opened a German game house that only allows rules, not games. The group recalls 'February 3rd', the nerd equivalent of January 6th, where fans stormed Marvel over Hawkeye's shoes.
"February 3rd is the January 6th for nerds."
"I opened the game house, but I don't allow games. I only allow rules."
"I saw a fidget spinner that had knives on it."
The 24-Hour Marvel Movie Structure
The writers pitch a 24-act structure where every hour of the day corresponds to a movie beat, starting with relatable problems at 6:00 AM and villains doing drugs at night.
"Every single bad person does drugs at night."
"We have a 24 act structure, each for a corresponding hour of the day."
"Suddenly, we got you by the nipples."
The 'U' and Ursula's Revenge
The writers announce that Marvel is merging with the actual universe to become 'The U'. They pitch a crossover with Disney's Ursula and her opera-singer daughter, culminating in Tony Hawk entering the MCU.
"It'll just be the U, not the MCU."
"Tony Hawk has entered the Marvel universe."
"Ursula's Revenge is coming to Marvel."
Marvel's Gritty Indie Pivot: Squirrel Girl and Croissant Woman
The writers pitch a small-scale 'Atlanta vibe' for Squirrel Girl dealing with postpartum and introduce Croissant Woman, a featured extra from Age of Ultron whose only power is making yeast rise.
"We have Squirrel Girl getting over postpartum."
"Her personality flaw is that she has a yeast infection. It's her kryptonite."
Superpower Pitch Game: IUD Finger Guns and Moby Dick Speedruns
The panel plays a game matching mundane or bizarre superpowers to specific film scenarios, including a body-positive stretchy lady in Forever 21 and a super-strong whale hunter who ends Moby Dick in five minutes.
"The power of an IUD that makes a woman's fingers guns."
"Super strength meets Moby Dick... it's a very short movie."
Marvel Phase 8: The 'U' Cinematic Universe Expansion
The writers unveil a massive slate of crossovers including 'Dr. Strange in the IVF of Madness', 'Spider-Daddy' on Call Her Daddy, and a 55-episode arc where everyone searches for 'The Thing'.
"Welcome to the U."
"It's Spider-Daddy: Alex Cooper's Unwell."
The Multiverse Collapses: Calamari Man and Evil Jeremy
As the episode ends, the characters are confronted by Calamari Man from the Bob's Burgers universe and an 'Evil Jeremy' persona who intends to destroy the podcast from within.
"It's not Patrick. It's Calamari Man."
"I'm here to take over the podcast once and for all and destroy it from the inside."