These Actors Are Crowdfunding
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
The New Wave of Indie Funding
A group of indie filmmakers obsessively check their various crowdfunding platforms, celebrating being nearly funded for their project while revealing bizarre financial priorities like a GoFundMe specifically for an ankle injury.
"We have 97% of our $100,000 goal, which means we have $97,000."
"GoFundMe just hit 85% funded. Technically, we said we were going to use that for my ankle."
Method Acting via Clubbing
Rachel explains that her character's key trait is a hurt ankle, so they are paying a man $950 to hit her with a $50 club to ensure the swelling is authentic without using CGI or AI.
"We're paying a real man to hit my ankle to club it a bit so that it puffs up a little bit."
"His rate is 950 and the club is 50."
The Mike and Ike Gay Adventure Pitch
While discussing their arcade-themed movie, the group gets sidetracked by a potential lawsuit-inducing spin-off about Mike and Ike candies being gay icons in a messy-versus-organized sitcom dynamic.
"Imagine like a sitcom where it's Mike and Ike and they're candies but they're gay and they're having sex."
"Ike is a bottom?"
The Rachel vs. Racial Misunderstanding
Bert admits he thought Rachel's name was pronounced 'Racial' for the last nine months, leading to a realization that all his previous 'not to get all racial' comments were actually directed at her name.
"I didn't think your name was pronounced Rachel. I thought it was Racial."
"I kept thinking you were like sort of calling me racist."
Crowdfunding a Threesome
The group discusses adding a 'threesome' tier to their crowdfunding page, debating the exact dollar amount required to make it a professional collaborative goal.
"I wouldn't do anything collaboratively with you guys unless it was kind of like a goal on the page."
"Like $10,000 and we have a threesome. I would even do it for five."
The Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake Lookalikes
Rachel Pie points out that Jenny Marb and Dante Inferno look exactly like Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake, leading to a series of increasingly absurd celebrity comparisons including Margot Robbie.
"You guys look like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel."
"Because Jenny and Jessica kind of like rhyme."
"It's me, Jenny, not Jessica Biel."
Spooky Goblin Furry Password Security
The group discusses their highly secure Kickstarter password, 'spooky goblin furry', and the existential fear that typing it might actually summon the creature.
"Kickstarter password is spooky goblin furry."
"What if all your passwords come to life? It's like Jumanji but passwords."
The Classic Papa John's Clowning Bit
The actors reminisce about a 'hilarious' clowning bit where they actually called Papa John's from the stage and ordered an 'ass pizza' from Bert while he was working.
"You ordered an ass pizza from me on stage."
"And you made it."
"I was working. You guys were not."
The Low-Tier Donation Personal Attacks
The cast explains that any donation under $20 is a personal attack that makes them want to fail, comparing the cost to a Marvel movie ticket.
"When you donate just the lower tiers, it hurts my feelings."
"It feels like a personal attack and you might as well tell us to not make the project."
The Absurd Donation Tiers
The group lists increasingly bizarre rewards for specific donation amounts, including naming a bowl of nachos, legal name changes, and choosing Bert's character's underwear.
"If you donate $22, we name a bowl of nachos after you."
"If you give a thousand dollars, you get to choose what kind of underwear Stinker wears."
"I'm begging you to pick regular."
The Goal is Reached and the Vision Immediately Shifts
The group discovers they have reached their crowdfunding goal. Instead of celebrating the original project, they immediately pivot to a 'Mike and Ike' movie and claim the money won't change them while it clearly already has.
"We made our goal!"
"The money can't change us."
"We literally just were about to change the whole idea."
The New Studio Model: Crowdfunding the Crowdfund
The actors decide that one movie isn't enough; they must build a new studio system. They pitch a meta-film titled 'Crowdfunding the Movie' and a slate including 'Box Time Off' to inspire 'little girls' everywhere.
"We're essentially breaking down the studios."
"Babe, the backrooms of crowdfunding."
"You need to have that pogo stick up your ass."
The Great Crowdfunding Scam Realization
The group realizes they didn't use legitimate sites. They accidentally raised money on 'Seed & Fark', 'Cockfarter', and 'Go Fung Me', discovering their entire 'million dollar' fund is actually a series of bizarre scams.
"I set up our account on the Seed & Fark website."
"I signed us up on Cockfarter."