“JACKASS” Writers Room
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (17)
The Jackass Writers Room Introduction
The hosts introduce the writers of the Jackass franchise, framing the show's chaotic stunts as the result of rigorous scientific testing and engineering rather than just random acts of pain.
"Jackass is the famed series in which men and recently some women will put themselves through physical pain in the name of pranks and good fun."
The Physics of Testicular Torque
The writers argue over the technical specifications of a 'Beehive in Dick' stunt, debating the differences between torque, torsion, and 'dork' while referencing their specialized lab testing.
"Dork is the way we can manipulate the dick and balls."
"We have a special testicular torque doctor who comes in and consults on these things."
The Acura Factory and Dummy Thick TM
The writers discuss their shared laboratory space with Acura and launch into a tirade against the monopoly of 'Dummy Thick TM', the company that manufactures expensive crash test dummies.
"The crash dummy is one of the most expensive things in planet Earth."
"Honda Acura is the first he/they majority factory."
Blue Skying Pranks for Prestige TV
The panel brainstorms how to improve shows like 'This Is Us', 'Say Yes to the Dress', and 'The Morning Show' by adding Jackass-style pranks involving jelly, scorpions, and cake flips.
"I would have loved This Is Us if it just had 20% more pranks."
"It's so hard to call someone a bitch when there's jelly in your mouth."
Roundtable Roll-Call: The Scientists of Jackass
The writers finally introduce themselves, revealing their backgrounds in chemistry, physics, and 'testicular minors', including Reggie's obsession with 'Remember the Titans'.
"I am a chemist, a physicist, and most popularly a testicular specialist."
"EA stands for explosions, animals, and games."
Thanksgiving with Crash Test Dummies
Guy Bagul reveals his deep emotional bond with crash test dummies, admitting he spends Thanksgiving with them because they are predictable and don't bring up uncomfortable topics like Guatemala.
"I spend a lot of time with those crash test dummies and they are wonderful people."
"The dummies are going to sit. They're going to listen. They're going to wear a picture of Channing Tatum's face on their face."
"I'm a proud single guy and I don't care if I have red flags because I'm not waving them for you, baby."
The Prank Composer's Tragic Upbringing
Michaela Swimming describes her childhood as the daughter of a beekeeper and a prank clown, where domestic disputes involved throwing balls of bees and swatting them with handshake buzzers.
"I am known around here as the composer, the prank composer."
"He would ball them up in his hand and he would toss them at my mother who would swat them away with a big hand buzzer."
"My homework from first through seventh grade was Lincoln Logs, Legos, and French cooking."
The Fine Line Between Science and S&M
The writers discuss the intense physical testing of stunts, noting that the line between scientific experimentation and S&M becomes blurred in the hot warehouse while blasting Sam Smith.
"The line between experimenting and S&M is just so thin these days."
"We have all signed a sexual amnesty clause if you have sex."
"It's maritime law for Jackass."
Reverse Engineering the Rocket Butt Stunt
The team breaks down the logistics of a stunt involving a Roman candle in a rectum used as a propeller for a duck boat, leading to a heated debate over the definition of ladyfingers and tiramisu.
"Mathematically trying to find the right type of firework rocket that would be stuck up his bum that wouldn't explode his ass."
"I'm talking about ladyfingers the pastry!"
"Tiramisu is not a pastry, it's a dish!"
The Wack Market and the Coco Bot Nunnery
The writers pitch stunts for food delivery robots, including hiding Steve-O inside to surprise nuns, and reveal the existence of a secret underground society where prank ideas are traded.
"Get dick to a nunnery, I say!"
"There's a secret underground marketplace where people share pranks and sell prank ideas to each other. It's called the Wack Market."
"Jackass feels like internally created by 14-year-olds and Impractical Jokers feels internally created by 45-year-olds."
The Gray Area of Spanking and Plugins
The writers discuss the 'Don't Mind If I Don't' game, leading to a pitch about Wee Man driving a mini motorcycle through a Skims store while being spanked by Kim Kardashian, accompanied by a sandalwood-scented plugin.
"I wouldn't want to be on a motorcycle and go through the skim store and get spanked by Kim Kardashian."
Rudy Giuliani's Dead Fish Launch
The panel reveals that Rudy Giuliani was cut from the movie because he was 'too available.' They describe a prank where he was stuck in a pile of dead fish and launched into the air while listening to K-pop.
"The problem is he's been too available to the point where we ask him for avail checks and he sends us a full calendar."
Greta Thunberg and the Climate Change Pizza
A detailed breakdown of a prank where Greta Thunberg is told climate change is fixed via a pepperoni pizza message, featuring drag queens as scientists and a musical performance by Frankie Grande.
"We told her climate change was fixed."
"She was right to key our cars."
Aerodynamics of Anatomically Correct Dummies
Guy Bagul explains the technical process of testing stunts naked using 3D-printed, anatomically correct genital mock-ups made of rare metals to study aerodynamic behavior during high-speed impacts.
"I need to know what his genitals are going to do."
"We see what those wieners do as we throw them across the room."
The Rapid-Fire Stunt List
The writers list a series of increasingly absurd stunts including the 'Dick Puller' claw machine, the 'Dick Choir,' and a lizard playing rock-paper-scissors with Johnny Knoxville's anatomy.
"We taught a lizard to play rock, paper, scissors with Johnny Knoxville's dick."
Final Sign-Off and Patreon Plug
The panel waves goodbye to the audience, reminding them to check the Patreon link in the bio as the episode concludes.
"Patreons in the bio."
The AOAOAOA Legal Disclaimer and Credits
A rapid-fire narration of the show's credits and a legal disclaimer stating that the performers have no idea what they are talking about because the show is improvised.
"We don't know what the heck we're talking about."
"Good night, Hollywood."