Celebrity Chefs (with Mythical Chef Josh)
Cast & Characters (5)
Bits & Timeline (13)
The Monk of the Kitchen and the Invention of Brussels
Jean-Claude Chlo# Sevigny claims to be a practicing Buddhist monk with a line of garlic salt and a book about screaming at meat. He also claims that Brussels sprouts were just called 'sprouts' before Brussels was invented.
"Brussel had not yet even been invented."
"The screaming monk's guide to screaming at your meat."
The Sandy Toad Lady's Frozen Frog Leg Empire
Destiny Pott introduces her 'Sandy Toad Lady' brand, which targets working mothers who wish they were in a Nancy Meyers movie. Her signature dish is a microwaveable frog leg steamer bowl.
"I'm the chef that's sold out. Okay. The Sandy Toad lady."
"French women love sandy toad lady."
"Frozen steam tower frog legs in a steamer bowl from the sandy toad lady."
Jennifer Boil's Love Letter to Manhattan Fusion
Jennifer Boil discusses her show 'Put That in the Pot,' where she renames ethnic dishes to make them 'normal,' such as calling tacos 'slumber parties' or 'silly uncrustables' and removing all the spice with a paper towel.
"I love renaming things."
"Take out the spice."
"Interesting. But not for me."
Destiny Pott's Explicit Nantucket Marriage
Destiny Pott defends her husband Tyrone's sexuality and announces their new venture, 'OnlyFlans,' which features explicit content involving sweaty creme brulee.
"My husband is straight and I make him so erect."
"We're starting an only flance."
"Flan is what you call sweaty creme brulee."
DJ Grandma Flatbread's Performance Enhancing Ingredients
DJ Grandma Flatbread explains how she went viral on TikTok for flipping flatbread while DJing. The panel accuses her of using steroids due to her high energy at age 82, which she claims is just 'whole milk.'
"I'm the only Food Network host who's also a working DJ."
"Are you taking performance-enhancing drugs?"
"I have whole milk, baby. That's my steroids."
Jean-Claude Chloë Sevigny and the Tesla Diner
Jean-Claude Chloë Sevigny discusses his career, including his current role at the Tesla Diner where he serves $22 grilled cheese to 'assholes' and practices 'extra cruelty' on foie gras.
"We do extra cruelty on the foie gras."
"I call it silly English."
"Assholes who want $22 grilled cheese."
The Swiss Morning Show Meltdown
The panel reviews a clip of Jean-Claude Chloë Sevigny's 1980s appearance on a Swiss morning show, which ended in a cocaine-fueled profanity-laden outburst against the hosts.
"Fuck you, you motherfucking Swiss fuck!"
"The Swiss are really they are on that button."
DJ Grandma Flatbread's Organic Viral Success
DJ Grandma Flatbread claims her viral TikTok success is entirely organic, despite appearing in videos with AJ and Big Justice and inventing the '@' sign in Tennessee.
"I was already dancing with Malala."
"You invented the at sign in Tennessee."
"They give me my sugar water that I think is perfectly fine."
Jordan Jeffrey: The Screaming Monk of TikTok
Jordan Jeffrey explains his TikTok strategy of releasing only the first 30 seconds of episodes and his 'react duets' where he screams insults at home cooks and their children.
"Ugly kid. To be cursed in the world with an ugly kid."
"Low stim for me to tizz out on."
"We are just kind of laying eggs."
Jennifer Boil's Gumbo on a Plane
Jennifer Boil reminisces about the freedom of pre-9/11 travel, specifically the ability to bring a massive pot of 'goofy soup' (gumbo) directly onto an airplane.
"I brought a bowl of goofy soup right on the plane."
"You put a big pot on the conveyor belt."
"This airplane food is not good."
Jennifer Boil's Toxic Romance with Emilio Loganto
Jennifer Boil reveals her late 90s relationship with the Food Network's 'Blam Guy,' Emilio Loganto, which ended after a leaked screaming match filmed from a skyscraper via drone.
"He just kept on screaming blam"
"Did he ever blam in the bedroom?"
"We called it the blam room because he blammed so much"
The Erotic Art of Seasoning a Panelist
Jean-Claude Chloë Sevigny attempts to 'season' Jennifer Boil with invisible cayenne pepper, leading to a discussion about the sexual nature of ingredients and cooking shows on PBS.
"Are you seasoning her? Don't season her"
"I made love to the ingredient"
"You get a little too worked up on PBS and suddenly the kid cannot watch you anymore"
The Shared Chef Fever Dream of Flavor Town
The panel discovers they all share a recurring nightmare involving a sentient lasagna conductor, a meatball that won't give directions, and a Sisyphean climb up Mashed Potato Hill.
"Flavor Town is like back rooms for chefs"
"The conductor of that train that's a chicken wing is a lasagna standing up"
"I put on paninis as snowshoes"